Thank you so much for all of your comments, I was so nervous about posting but I’m so glad I did!
So I’m back at uni now, food isn’t going great. I was restricting the entire week I got back, yesterday I binged and took laxatives, and today I binged on 450 calories worth of chocolate, ate a few pieces of broccoli with soy sauce yet I still couldn’t resist taking more laxatives. I ate less than 1000 calories which still isn’t enough but in my head it is.
I also had to break it to the guy I was seeing that I didn’t want to be with him anymore. I was under the impression when we started seeing each other that it was casual, he obviously didn’t take it that way, now I feel like a horrible person because I always do this to people. I feel like I am very destructive and I don’t ever feel quite as guilty as I should.
I have thought up some steps to prevent my relapse, none of which I have actually followed through yet
1) Throw away scales – VERY IMPORTANT!
2) Stop planning binges
3) Cut down to 5 laxatives a week and then stop completely
4) Eat over 1000 calories every day
5) Stop counting calories
Easier said than done! Here are a few photos from last night, I thought black was supposed to be slimming!
Cleaning up the glass I drunkenly broke…haha